Not Guilty

Bailiff: ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention, please: the Court will come to order. The Honourable Judge presiding. Please be seated.’
: ‘Good morning. Would the Clerk please read the charges?’
Clerk: ‘The Court charges the World with Libel in the First Degree.’
Judge: ‘Prosecution, would you please explain your reasons.’
Prosecutor: ‘My client suffers from remorse and a feeling that makes him believe that he has violated a moral standard every time he comes in contact with the Defendant.’
Judge: ‘How does the Defendant plead?’
Attorney for the Defence: ‘Your honour, the Defendant enters the plea “Not Guilty”’.
Judge: ‘Defendant, would you please explain your reasons’.

Attorney for the Defence
: ‘Your honour, dear members of the jury, I’m here today to re-establish the truth about my client and the rumours that it has been accused of. In order to remove all shadows of a doubt concerning my clients innocence with regards to these heinous accusations, the Defendant has accepted to go through a battery of tests and experiments.  The results speak for themselves, your honour.’
: ‘Well, we don’t have all day. What do they say?’
Attorney for the Defence
: ‘The results show that the samples tested contained antibacterial agents that fight tooth decay and phenyl ethylamine, which is a mild mood elevator. Results demonstrated an increase in antioxidant levels in the blood, that the smell increased theta brain waves, resulting in relaxation and the carbohydrate content raised serotonin levels in the brain, resulting in a sense of well-being.

They also contained oleic acid, a mono-unsaturated fat which may raise good cholesterol as well as stearic acid, a neutral fat which does not raise bad cholesterol. Neither of these are a causative factor in acne.

Finally, historical tests on other samples have proven useful in treating bronchitis and insect bites, and there is no scientific proof, anywhere, of addiction or narcotic side effects.

In conclusion, the research clearly proves that the Prosecution is not suffering of guilt, but is actually incapable of dealing with the only proven side-effect: pleasure.’
Judge: ‘Please clarify your statement. I’m not sure to understand you’.
Attorney for the Defence: ‘Chocolate, Your honour, I’m talking about my client, chocolate! And the only thing that chocolate should be guilty of… is pleasure!’

Chocolate collage

As a diamond shining in a store window or the One Ring of ages past, chocolate works its power on our palates in ways we can hardly resist. The Chocolate Week was the perfect moment for the finest British chocolatiers and European chocolate producers to present their wares without the slightest hint of guilt.

Paul A Young Collage

According to Paul, Paul A. Young “You should never feel guilty about chocolate. Feel guilty about the take away and the junk food! Never about chocolate as long as you choose the right quality. Chocolate makes you feel alive and smile. Don’t be shy about it.”

Trish collage

Trish Deseine defines chocolate as an “escape and pleasure! A little guilt is a good thing from time to time, but not when served with food.

Divine collage

Eating chocolate is a bit of an occasion and it’s proper treat. It’s like a comforting hug or kiss,” confides Rosanna from Divine Chocolate. “I don’t see the guilt factor when you have just a little of what you fancy now and again! Chocolate has a great power to bring out the best in people.”

Artisan du Chocolat

For Elise, Artisan du Chocolat, chocolate is “pleasure, a delicious taste, work, but first of all a connection to pleasure. There’s no reason to feel guilty about enjoying good chocolate that contains no additives and very low levels of sugar.”

Rococo collage

The visual pleasure and the taste are almost as important as knowing where the ingredients come from.” explains James, from Rococo. “It is very important to create a connection with the people who work hard to get the best out of the cocoa bean. As long as you pick the right ingredient to make the best chocolate, there is no reason to feel guilty of enjoying a delicious piece of it.”

And what do our passionates about food think about it?

meemalee “’Chocolate’ means a cute autistic girl with amazing martial art skills
LOVE! Yes, Chocolate, the kind that makes you bite your lip and say mmmmh is LOVE!
Pure sensory indulgence
chocolatetours: “Joy


14 thoughts on “Not Guilty

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  3. Funny post. If we were to examine everything mildly addictive I don’t think we’d have anything left! Chocolate, coffee, wine… what is life without them?

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